The Desert Will Melt Your Brain

How do you write a SparkleBlob Holiday Show Script? It takes a very special set of circumstances.

Shannon Gallagher and I (Julianna Parr) get in her reddish orange air-conditioned Honda Element. As the familiar highways become unfamiliar, and the caffeine does its job, the unraveling of ideas fuels the trip. We careen through the southland until the buildings give way to rock piles, surroundings become more sparse, the panorama elevates in temperature and terrain. Clues begin to show themselves, while other inclinations become ever more elusive.

This is how we write the script.

I can tell you it’s nothing fancy, and there are a lot of snacks, and the desert absolutely lives up to its reputation in June. We asked the T-Rex in Cabazon a bunch of questions, even went up inside the big thing’s head and gazed at the 10 from afar, a good view of the brontosaurus giftshop notwithstanding. Glorious gleaming white turbines twirled as the tiny car with our brains in it it zoomed past the arid tell-all of rocky distant worlds. What inspired us?

  • Lenticular renditions of Native Americans juxtaposed with wolves, horses and big skies
  • Souvenir shops sporting signs saying stuff like “God loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.”
  • Mannequins dressed like cave people who appeared to be jealous of each other’s hairstyles.
  • Creationist dinosaur exhibits showing lambs and velociraptors as friends
  • Plaques about the San Andreas Fault
  • A disappointing, but not totally deplorable plate of spaghetti
  • Rustic accents
  • Twinkling quiet and a deep yellow half moon brooding over the horizon
  • Hazy unmistakable views of the Salton Sea

Yep, a SparkleBlob script unrolled itself across our minds, thanks to all those Joshua Trees pointing the way. And all I can tell you is that all will be revealed come December.